Some days are better than others.

Have you ever set back, in one of those quiet moments all to yourself, and wonder how you became who you are? Or where the time has gone? Or why you chose to do things "that way" years ago? "If you could turn back time".

I have my own belief and my own understanding of our time spent here on earth. Take the largest building you know. Fill it completely with papers, stacked without as much as an inch here or there to spare. Now remove one page. This page is your life spent here on earth. But yet, in this almost insignificant time, we effect so many. In what seems to be a blink of an eye, we can save someone or change someone's life for the better.....or worse.

These past few weeks have been hard on me. Being unhappy is one thing, almost a normal feeling, but this has been the ultimate low. What would I do if I could go back? ALLOT! I would change many, many things in my life. But, I would still have 2 kids! I love them with all that I am.

I watch stories of people getting out of a burning home without their kids, unable to find them in the deadly heat, smoke, and flames. I feel for these people like it was me. Don't believe the movies... You can't walk through a burning house or building, with little or no equipment and "save the day". It doesn't work like that! I would die before I get out without them. Even with all the Firefighting and Damage Control training I have: "If I can't reach them, I don't get out either. "

Feeling pain is bad. Feeling helpless is bad. Feeling like you failed someone close to you is......

Heartfelt.