The parenting users guide

After receiving two Birthday cards, both with $10.00 in each of them, my son wanted to count the money in his bank. My wife and he sat at the table counting out the bills. A little while longer, he runs through the house yelling for me. As I walked into the dining room, the two of them look at me with smiles as wide as a truck. My son says to me “Daddy, I have 66 dollars in my bank.” I look at him and ask, in a calm voice “May I have that money?” His face turned to a look of disbelief, as he says quickly “no”. I look at him again and say calmly “May I have some of it?” He then smiles and counts out 3 dollar bills. As he hands the money to me he says proudly “Here you go. You can have $3.00”. I looked at him and said “Wait, I’ll be right back” and I walked away.

My son, as with most kids his age, tends to be a bit selfish. As I amble throughout the house, I think of a to thank him for his gratuitous offer. I then pulled out $1 from my wallet and put it with the money he gave me. Finally, I make it back into the dining room and stand upon him. As I hand the money to him I said “It was very nice for you to give me some of your money. Your $3 has now become $4”. He smiled from ear to ear, yelling the story to his mother, despite the fact that she was there for the transaction.

Thinking I had just given my son a good lesson in sharing, I turn around and walk away. He then yells to me “Hey Daddy, let me give you $4”. This makes me stop in my tracks. I then turn around and simply say to him “No buddy, just put it back to Mommy can put it into your bank account”. I thought to myself, I can’t believe my son is going to be a stock broker.

A simple apology to my unborn great-grandchildren.

I’m sorry to say that things were not always as you know them.

I’m sorry we couldn’t work together.

I’m sorry things got this bad for your generation.

I’m sorry we didn’t stand up to ‘big oil’ (that’s what we called companies like Exxon) and chance things ourselves.

I’m sorry we didn’t overrun the government of OUR time.

I’m sorry we let our politicians run wild with their own agendas.

I’m sorry we didn’t listen to the few who had the courage to speak.

I’m sorry I didn’t speak out.

I’m sorry we didn’t take better care of our own countries oppression.

I’m sorry you no longer have private schools.

I’m sorry we took away the bills of rights.

I’m sorry you will never know the freedom we took for granted.

I’m sorry you cannot own a riffle.

I’m sorry you will never know what it’s like to teach your kids how to hunt.

I’m sorry you will never know what it’s like to teach your kids how to fish.

I’m sorry you can’t know the joy of going mountain biking real woods.

I’m sorry you can’t jump into your automobile and drive to work in the morning, by your self, listening to YOUR favorite music or talk show.

I’m sorry about the government operated mass transit system you just endure.

I’m sorry you can’t just decide to go on vacation with the family.

I’m sorry you’ll never know how a real community of people.

I’m sorry you can never enjoy belonging to a gun or shooting club.

I’m sorry we reinstated prohibition.

I’m sorry you’ll never know what it was like to take you kids to a live baseball game and have a hot dog.

I’m sorry you don’t have the luxury of taking time off of work when YOU want to.

I’m sorry you can just drive up to a gas station and fill up.

I’m sorry you’ll never know how it feels to pilot your own small craft.

I’m sorry getting into the military is so difficult.

I’m sorry we Americans were predigests towards other races.

I’m sorry we couldn’t see the fact that most all other countries long heritages were responsible in making what we knew as America.

I’m sorry your kids have to enter the work force at such a young age.

I’m sorry you’ll never know what it was like to retire.

I’m sorry real fruits are so hard to find for you.

I’m sorry so many of the animals you read about in your history books are now extinct.

I’m sorry you can’t drink the water without treating it.

I’m sorry about all the air.

I’m sorry you’ll never know what a 100-year-old tree looks like.

I’m sorry your kids will never know what it was like to work at the mall.

I’m sorry about your food.

I’m sorry about your crime rate.

I’m sorry about your health care system.

I’m sorry you will never know what health insurance is.

I’m sorry about all the people that died.

I’m sorry how many people you must live with. But most of all…

I’m sorry I never got a chance to meet you.

---

Copyright 2006; Commonality Among Indifference

Some of these look bad.

I have been informed of some newer viruses that have been identified. Although this is not my specialty, I feel it my civic duty to pass them on to the rest of you. Please be careful with this information, as it been known to effect people in different ways. Call you doctor or network administrator if you feel weak or see signs of new hair growth.

Watch Out For These!!!

The GEORGE BUSH VIRUS - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses
of mass destruction.

The JOHN KERRY VIRUS - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes
little purple hearts to appear on screen.

The BILL CLINTON VIRUS - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive; with NO
memory.

The AL GORE VIRUS - Causes your computer to keep counting and
re-counting.

The BOB DOLE VIRUS - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

The MONICA LEWINSKY VIRUS - Sucks all the memory out of your computer,
then e-mails everyone about what it did.

The ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS - Terminates some files, leaves, but
will be back.

The MIKE TYSON VIRUS - Quits after two bytes.

The OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then
slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB.

The ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS - Disks can no longer be inserted.

The PROZAC VIRUS - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor
doesn't care.

The MICHAEL JACKSON VIRUS - Only attacks minor files.

The LORENA BOBBITT VIRUS - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch
floppy... then discards it through Windows.

The Patient

I thought long and hard about posting this, mostly because it’s not my work. But, something inside me makes me spell it out. So, here goes….





A groan of tedium escapes me, startling the fearful.
Is this a test?
It has to be. Otherwise I can't go on.
Draining patience. drain vitality.
this paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old.

But I'm still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. And I'm still right here.
But I'm still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. And I'm still right here.

I'm gonna wait it out

If there were no rewards to reap,
no loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.

I'm gonna wait it out

If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.

I still may. And I still may.
Be patient.

I must keep reminding myself of this...

If there were no rewards to reap,
no loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may. And I still may. And I still may.

I'm gonna wait it out.
I'm gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.




Thank you Maynard James Keenan!
:-)

Parent Brain

If you've left the crayons to melt in the car,
And forgotten just where the car keys are,
There's a perfectly good way to explain:
You see, you've come down with "Parent Brain."

When you're not sure where the past 8 hours went,
Or whether the phone bill check's been sent,
If you've left the laundry drying in the rain,
It's just---you guessed it---Parent Brain.

If you find yourself chatting for hours on end
About diaper prices with your cyberfriends,
You've just caught a particularly virulent strain
Of that affliction known as Parent Brain.

If you left your bags at the grocery store
Or completely forgot what you went there for,
If you called the dog by your baby's name,
You can bet that Parent Brain's to blame.

And if you know the words to "Goodnight Moon" by heart,
Or you study your sleeping babe like a work of art,
If you're always suprised by how time is flying,
And the thought of that first birthday starts you crying.....

It's unavoidable, people, and I feel your pain,
For I, too, suffer from Parent Brain.
But I'll admit one thing---of this I'm sure:
I hope they never find a cure.

life

For all of you who yell at me for not updating, I am sorry. This time of year is very hectic. A lot of work goes into making room for 400 kids in a baseball league. I will be back very soon.

Oh, and Dean: The kids are going to boo's party.

I just ordered this shirt!

The Monkeysphere

Today I actually found the time do some serious bloging. While flying around the net, I came across a piece that so moved me that I felt I needed to add it to my sidebar. It’s called The Monkeysphere Theory, although the word theory has been added.

I don’t “do” tagging, but in this case I make the following exceptions. I am asking the following people to read it and post a comment on this blog.


Carn the 8-ball queen.
Dean who wears a beenie like none other.
The Rev. who needs some time to himself.
Bob who needs to get a car.
Snot who does this tard walk thing that would make the pope laugh his ass off.
Lass who is the person I know that may kill me at mountain biking.
AO1 Yohe who better make it to the chief’s quarters before retiring.

Thanks!

Disheartenment sucks…

Today I found myself home from work early. Our shop lost power just before 9am this morning and we all ran out of stuff we could do without power. The wind was gusting well into the 30 to 40 MPH range all day, and most surely was the reason for our blackout. The first thing out of my sons mouth after getting home from school was “where’s my shark kite?” A neighbor had gotten him this kite for his birthday last year and we had never had luck making it fly for more than 30 seconds. Even a kid can assume that the kite will fly, along with just about anything else, in THIS wind. So off we go, down to the girls softball field to make a shark fly high in the sky.

As we walk out onto the field, kite and string in hand, his excitement was obvious. I instruct him to take the kite to about midfield and we’ll take a crack at it. When I yell, he lets go of the kite and I ran full steam ahead towards the left field fence. As before, this dumb shark just will not stay in the sky. Every time the wind dies down bellow 5 or 10 MPH, the thing drops out of the sky like it was shot out of the sky by a MIM-23 Hawk. We try this a few more times, then switch places. Finally, we got this fish in the sky. My son was proud. But the fun was short lived as it crashed and burned again. As I am walking this kite to the other side of the ball field, I look back to boo, attempting to give him the green light for another run, but he wasn’t on the end of the string. There he was, with his head down low, slowly walking towards the gate. In astatic form, he had given in and was walking back to the truck. I yelled for him, asking what he was doing. He simply said “I’m going back to your truck.” I didn’t know quite what to do at this point. What was my best course of action? Do I yell at him for just dropping this project like a hot potato, leaving me to clean up the mess? Do I run to him and try to encourage another attempt?

So as I pack up the kite, and the knotty ball of string on his end, he just set there in the truck watching me. I slowly got things gathered up, while in my head I was trying to justify scolding him. By the time I made it back to the truck, I had just decided to drop it. There he sat in the seat, with a tear rolling down his cheek. We had a very short and to the point conversation about it on the way home. His personal failure was enough of a learning lesson, no need to put any salt in the wound.

Entwistle pleads not guilty to murder charges

Ok, here’s the perfect asshole for the day. This guy kills his wife and kid, then runs like a pansy back home. Plus he shots them both with his father-in-law’s gun, .22-caliber pistol! What was he thinking? That’s meant to maim people who come into your home, or maybe to shoot groundhogs, but certainly not for killing anything over 20 pounds.

Let me paint a picture for you once. Let’s pretend that his wife was a total bitch, making his life a living hell on a daily basis. Let’s say that she pushed him so far that he simply went off of his rocker and snapped. Well, than why kill the kid? His poor little 9-month-old daughter Lillian, the world had plans for her. Her life was going to be a bit hectic, traveling back and forth from the U.S. to England every few months, but all this would make for a better understanding of differing countries and cultures. Just after graduating high school, she was to attend college at Britain's University of York. Her major was going to be government. This was going to lead her into a position at the White House, eventually getting her into the position she was going to be known for, history’s greatest diplomat. But no, this selfish bastard had to wreck it all! She was 9 freaking months old, 9 months! What the hell!!!! She didn't even get a chance to piss anyone off.

I know, I know, guilty until proven innocent, yada, yada, yada. The way I look at it, he’s pretty much fried already, he has three major things against him. First, he’s white, second, he was never famous or played football professionally, and third Johnny Cochran died last year.

Finally it's ready!

I’m still trying to get this google video working. My latest video just went “live’ today. I can’t even get it to work on a simple web page that I make here at home. I contacted to google about the issue, and this is their response. ” Hi,

Thank you for bringing this to our attention. Our engineers are currently
working to solve this problem and hope to resolve it shortly.

We apologize for any inconvenience and appreciate your patience.

Sincerely,

The Google Video Team”

Well, until they figure this beta version out, here’s a real link to the video!

A whole lot of nothing

When Computer Geeks Get Bored...They Do Stuff Like This !!

snow...

Snow. What exactly is snow? Well, wikipedia says: Snow is precipitation in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes. Since it is composed of small rough particles it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure.
Snow is commonly formed when water vapor undergoes deposition high in the atmosphere at a temperature of less than 0°C (32°F), and then falls to the ground. Blaa, blaa, blaa. That's not quite what I mean. What does snow mean to you? For those of us that live in the south, snow comes very infrequently so any fond memories of having snow in your back yard are special ones in deed.

Let me tell you my little story. I grew up in the middle of a less than prestige neighborhood. About a block away was a very steep hill. When the snow got deep enough to close school, the city also closed the road going down this hill. It was very steep with a long stretch of flat road bellow it. Perfect for sledding. Many kids would gather there. We all would try to make it past the stop sign at the bottom. Thinking back, that wasn't the brightest thing to do, but I damn near made it to my front door many times!

I also can remember my parents taking my sister and I down town shopping in the evening pulling us on sleds. Watching the snow fall bellow the street light was a memory I will never forget. It just looked so cool. Even the sound of the snow softly falling on a quiet night brings back good times.

This must be why I take my kids out sled riding every time is snows. I just love it, and I know they do as well.

What's your story?

Don't let this happen to you.

"To My Grown Up Son" (Author Unknown)


My hands were busy through the day
I didn't have much time to play
The little games you asked me to
I didn't have much time for you.

I'd wash your clothes, I'd sew and cook,
But when you'd bring your picture book
And ask me please to share your fun,
I'd say: "A little later, son."

I'd tuck you in all safe at night
And hear your prayers, turn out the light,
Then tiptoe softly to the door . . .
I wish I'd stayed a minute more.

For life is short, the years rush past . . .
A little boy grows up so fast.
No longer is he at your side,
His precious secrets to confide.

The picture books are put away,
There are no longer games to play,
No good-night kiss, no prayers to hear . . .
That all belongs to yesteryear.

My hands, once busy, now are still.
The days are long and hard to fill.
I wish I could go back and do
The little things you asked me to.

Dell computer support......

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.

The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except
one. Unless you pass it you cannot qualify for this job."

Mujibar said,"I am ready."

The manager said,"Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister manager, I am ready."

The manager said, "Go ahead."

Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up,
and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"

Mujibar now works as a technician at a call center for computer problems.

No doubt you have spoken to him.

This is wild!!!

This woman has it going on baby! I’m not the artsy fartsy kind, but this impressed me to no end. This just proves my theory that hands created our world. Unfortunately, hands of a different kind will destroy it. Anyway, check it out! It will amaze you! Especially you Carn!

Cool... Maybe...

Just what I needed, another new toy to play with. Google now has free video hosting. So, I'm playing around with it. Trouble is, I can't get the code google spits at me to work. If anyone out there has tried google's video hosting before, maybe you can be so kind to give me a hint? Untill then, I cut the viedo's source code out and made a link. This should work.


Try this.

Words to live by...

Buying Time... (Author Unknown)




The man came home from work late again, tired and irritated,
to find his 5 year old son waiting for him at the door.

"Daddy, may I ask you a question?" Yeah, sure, what is it?"
replied the man.

"Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?" "That's none
of your business! What makes you ask such a thing?"
the man said angrily.

"I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make
an hour?" pleaded the little boy.

"If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour."

"Oh," the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said,
"Daddy, may I borrow $10.00 please?"

The father was furious. "If the only reason you wanted to
know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some
to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march
yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about
why you're being so selfish. I work long, hard hours everyday
and don't have time for such childish games."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even madder about the
little boy's questioning. How dare he ask such questions only
to get some money. After an hour or so, the man had calmed
down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on
his son. Maybe there was something he really needed to buy
with that $10.00, and he really didn't ask for money very often.
The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

"Are you asleep son?" he asked.

"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier,"
said the man. "It's been a long day and I took my aggravation
out on you. Here's that $10.00 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, beaming. "Oh, thank you daddy!"
he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some
more crumpled up bills.

The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to
get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money,
then looked up at the man.

"Why did you want more money if you already had some?"
the father grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.

"Daddy, I have $20.00 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?"

We are all busy. Make some time for your kids every day, if only for a few minutes. You'd be surprised how quickly you loose touch of them.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, now for some funnies!!!!! Gee, I hope I don't offend anyone!!!

A guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.

Guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?"

Customer says, "Female"

Counter guy asks, "Black or white?"

Customer says, "White"

Counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?"

Customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?"

Counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up!"

Monday Morning Blues

Well, I just got home from a Super Bowl party at the Americus Hose Company and I can only guess what kind of controversy will be at in the news tomorrow. Even being a die-hard Steelers fan, I cannot look past what seems like a throw from the zebras. “Did the football actually break the plain?” “Was that holding call justified?”
This is why I watch collage sports!

Testing

If I was the network administrator for Blogger, I would have been fired a long time ago!!!

Testing

Blogger seems to be down or at least blind to me this evening. So I guess I'm just testing for nothing.

Just some fun

If big-chested women work at Hooters,

Where do one-legged women work?
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Ready?

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